He Sees Me

Today is International Sons Day, and over the past year, a lot of our milestones have revolved around two things: the hair and the height. 🙃

At 13, he grew about four and a half inches, topped six feet tall, and after what felt like an entire scientific project, we finally figured out his hair.🥳

But the thing that has surprised me most this year has nothing to do with how much he has grown physically.

It’s his comprehension.

A lot of people have asked me whether my son understands what has been happening in his mom’s life.

The answer is yes and no.

He understands that things have changed. He understands that some people who were once part of our lives are no longer there. Neither one of us understands every reason why things unfolded the way they did, but he is beginning to understand, just as I am, what people are capable of when curiosity, personal desires, loyalty, hurt, ego, or self-interest get tangled together.

More importantly, though, he sees me.

He sees what I am willing to tolerate and what I am not.

He sees the way I remember his father and the people I continue to love and respect. He also sees the difference when respect has been lost. I’ve explained to him that people are free to speak about me however they choose, but I am also free to speak honestly about my own experiences. Having a voice is not something reserved for everyone else.

And maybe one of the greatest gifts he has inherited from his father is the ability to see me as a person.

Not only as his mother.

Not as someone’s wife.

Not as someone’s best friend.

Not as a role I am supposed to fill.

And certainly not as an object in somebody else’s story.

He sees me as a human being with an identity of my own.

His father saw that too.

He celebrates the things that make me who I am, my writing, my independence, my ridiculous ideas, my determination, my successes, and even the parts of me that are still figuring things out.

And in return, I want him to know that I see him the same way.

He is my son, but he does not exist simply as an extension of me. He is becoming his own person, with his own thoughts, interests, boundaries, opinions, strengths, and identity.

That may be one of the most important things we can give our children: the freedom to become fully themselves while knowing they are deeply loved along the way.

So yes, 2026 will absolutely be remembered as the year he passed six feet tall and we finally conquered the hair. 🥰

But I think I’ll remember it even more as the year I realized just how much he sees.

And how lucky I am to be here watching him become himself.

💜